I spent so long dreading the thought of the Twilight saga. I knew about the books long before it became the main topic of the world. Even back then, I just didn’t like the idea of it, then it burst into this huge deal and I hated it even more. I didn’t understand how something could take over the lives of so many people. It bothered me.
When New Moon came out, my mom wanted me to go see it with her. Not being able to say no to my mom, I agreed, but I knew I had to watch Twilight first, or I would be completely lost. So, we borrowed the movie from my aunt and watched it before heading out to see New Moon. By the end of the movie, I was more excited than her to go see New Moon. I had to admit to myself at that moment that I had crossed over to the dark side, if you will, haha. The next day, I found myself purchasing the entire collection of books. Five days later, I’d finished all of the books. One day later, I find myself extremely depressed thinking about everything that happened in the books.
If you’ve read them, I’m assuming you’ll understand what I mean with these next words. If not, just imagine.
I’ve been in my fair share of relationships and have witnessed even more. After reading these books, I find myself wondering what the point is of every relationship I’ve been in and the relationships I’ve seen, when I’ve read about the relationship that Edward and Bella share. I keep thinking about why someone wouldn’t want that same thing and why they would ever settle for anything less. Such loyalty, such honesty, such trust, passion, desire, sincerity. I’m sure you get the point. No matter how much time they spend together – and that’s quite a lot after Bella becomes immortal, seeing as neither of them sleep after that – they continually feel like its never enough time together. I’ve always been one with these qualities. Giving everything, risking everything in my life for the person I love. I’ve known how it feels to never be satisfied with the time I have with them. I could spend every second with that person and still wish I could spend more time with them. I’ve never gotten this in return. Edward and Bella’s relationship makes me feel highly jealous and also extremely sad. Jealous, because, despite the fact that they are characters in a book, they have the greatest thing anyone could ever have in the world – true love. Sad because after reading about them, I’ll always think about it and never settle for anything less and I foresee this becoming a huge issue in my life, but I won’t be able to let it go. I know myself too well.
I have this image in my head now of exactly what I want. I wouldn’t mind the immortal part, either. If that were possible. Well, my skin is always cold…haha. But really, exactly what they have. They would do absolutely anything for each other, no matter the risk or the outcome and it wouldn’t matter if something happened to either of them along the way, the other would make sure they’d endure the same thing.
Whether a love like this actually exists somewhere out there, or not – and I do believe it does – I’m destined to find it.
haha.