I’ve come to the conclusion that myspace is a killer. Not so much murderer, but its one of those

“I’ll torture until you a) die or b) end up killing yourself”

kind of things. Seriously, there’s been those extremely boring days - no school, no work, nothing to do - where I sit on myspace for hours upon hours and I’ll realize that the end of the day rolls around, and I still haven’t eaten. Wtf is this!? I got so caught up on myspace that I forgot to eat, are you kidding me? The funny thing is, after I realize I haven’t eaten, I still don’t freakin eat and continue to find something to do on myspace. Its ridiculous.

It was a race from the beginning, for me. My brother had a myspace and I’d always watch him play around on it before I got mine. After I got mine, it was a battle between the two of us to see who could get more friends in a month. I think I got like, 300 or so in the first two weeks and just slaughtered him. I don’t even think he has that much now, four and a half years later, haha. Whereas I…have fourteen thousand. Its an addiction. Why do people need that many friends on myspace!? Well, I have an answer for myself, I promote all the locals bands in and around Idaho and I book shows, but as for everyone else, I mean seriously. If you don’t have a valid reason, why do you have so many damn friends!? Its because its trying to kill you. Trying to steer you away from reality and drag you down as far as it possibly can.

Who needs friends, you have twenty thousand on MYSPACE!
Who needs food, you can feed off the fakeness of MYSPACE!
Who needs to workout, you get tired from typing so much on MYSPACE!
Who needs a social life, you can join groups on MYSPACE!
Who even needs cds anymore, you have MYSPACE music!

And don’t even start me on the thirteen years olds, oh my hell. The thirteen year old little girls who dress up in their mom’s makeup just to take pictures of themselves looking like whores for myspace, so they can reel in some really cute boy who turns out to be a creepy sixty year old child molester who is going to rape and murder them. Parents, seriously, teach your kids some common sense. No, its not cute to look like a whore. No, its not cute to talk dirty to people over the internet. No, its not cute to meet up with someone you met on the internet.

…you litte hookers. *cough*cough*…

Seriously, teach your kids something. Myspace is a place for predators and if you a) don’t know your thirteen-year-old-whore-of-a-daughter has one showing off the boobs she doesn’t have or b) don’t care that she has one, its called being invloved. Stop working so damn much and get to know your kid. Don’t send them off on their own with no knowledge, unless you enjoy watching their life go to shit? In this case, you’ve got even bigger issues.

Myspace, ugh. Damn you Tom. Damn you.