Gone are the days of selling my integrity.
Paid for like delicate wall paintings.
I realized that my hands were
always found empty when God asked.
I wrapped this world around my head
and choked on my tears as I layed in bed.
Smothered underneath sheets of dread,

I kept you somewhere there.

Gone are the days when I swallowed my words,
Letting them crack my ribs to keep from being heard,
While I devoured spoiled thoughts and prayed for the worst.

I was better off dead.

I sulk away when the sun awakes.
For it places my mistakes on brilliant display
And how deep grows this painful shame
That latches in me like roots.
From here till dirt which is not much further,

I will refuse to remember you.