You and Me and Everyone we Know Wednesday, Sep 24 2008
If You Feel Like Thinking and Life. Love. Kari. Friendships, Happiness, Life, Love, Relationships 7:46 pm
Nestled. Average. Vulnerable. Yes. Tuesday, Sep 23 2008
Bitch. Whine. Complain. and If You Feel Like Thinking and Life. Love. Kari. and Story Time A Day To Remember, Adjectives, Education, Friendship, Life, Love, Relationships, Vulnerability, You Had Me At Hello 10:53 am
There’s that damn word list again. Those words have nothing in common, nor do they describe anything that has anything to do with each other. “Yes” isn’t even an adjective, so that obviously doesn’t describe anything. This is a very important lesson, I’d say. This is time number two that I’ve used that word list. It could be educational if you study the list, it might teach you something and clue you into what I’m about to talk about. Even though I’m going to state my problem, but beat around the bush when it comes to actually saying anything in particular, so you probably wouldn’t know what I’m talking about anyways, even if you understood the word list. Except maybe Scott, he might catch on.
Lets move on with this.
I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LET THINGS GO! Why am I so fucking disturbed by this peppy sounding thing who continually makes smiley faces with the letter X? What kind of smiley face has an X in it!
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Maybe its because the exact reason WE were never this thing, is because of the situation…but THEY are! Either way, why does it bug me so freaking much? And why can’t I just let it go? God, I really need to let this go. Its getting me nowhere. Maybe, it’ll get me somewhere in three years, but whose to say what’s going to happen in three years? Exactly. All I know is that if I’m still here when that three years comes up, something good better happen of it. This is exactly what I’m NOT supposed to be doing, damnit. Not waiting, not even thinking about waiting. That word list didn’t want me to wait, even though I’m still going to, for some UNKNOWN fucking reason, but its perfectly fine for the weird smiley face to wait. No harm in that. Maybe its because I have the heart and so does the word list. It just sucks that only one of us can admit it and keep it on the table. Stupid word list.
I bet.
This blog was really about the relationship between the word list and I and how the stupid smiley face interferes. If you thought there were actual people involved, you’re crazy for believing that there was more to it. I just have an odd relationship with a group of words and an awkward hatred for smiley faces that contain the letter X. Get over it.
Maybe I’ll Sleep When I Am Dead Friday, Sep 19 2008
Life. Love. Kari. and Story Time Friendship, Life, Love 6:54 pm
If the most perfect day with the most perfect person could be shown through pictures, this would be it.
Matthew means the world to me. I have never been so in love with anyone or anything.
If the world was flat, I’d grind the Edge Saturday, Sep 13 2008
Life. Love. Kari. and Stereotypes Crews, Goals, Growth, Life, Positivity, Straight Edge, Youth Crew 5:43 pm
Me, you, youth crew!
If the world was flat, I’d grind the edge.
To the positive youth, my heart I pledge.
X on my hand, now take the oath.
To positive youth, to positive growth.
To positive minds, to pure clean souls.
These will be all my goals.
Walk with me and my crew.
There is so much shit we can do.
And we won’t stop until we’re through.
Word.
Its Abnormal Tuesday, Sep 9 2008
Life. Love. Kari. Hope, Insomnia, Life, Love, Relationships 10:27 am
I always have hope for everything,
but right now, I’m completely out of hope.
I woke up at 7am yesterday morning, now its
almost 11am the next day and I still haven’t slept.
I’m hungry, but I can’t keep anything down.
I’ve never been this way.
I Was Your Fire, Once Friday, Sep 5 2008
Life. Love. Kari. and Story Time Automatic Loveletter, Christmas New Years, Ernest Hemingway, Family, Friendships, Hell, Idiocracy, Life, Loneliness, Love, Luck, Navy, Passion, Promises, Relationships, Sailors, Trust, Virginia 10:15 pm
A girl who will be honest with herself and make no
excuses, but it seems that girls like that do not exist
anymore.
I bet there’s at least one out there.
if you find one, let me know.
You already had one, once.
“Once lost, forever gone”. -Ernest Hemingway
I disagree.
How so?
I can’t say I haven’t lost things that I’ll never get back,
but I think its possible to get the greatest things back.
If you lost your favourite toy as a child, that may be gone
forever, but with people, I think its a completely different
story. Like me, for instance, someone may lose me as a
friend, girlfriend, whatever, but no matter what, I’d still be
there. I have a passion for caring for people and being
there, no matter what. Someone could put me through
the worst hell I’ve ever experienced, but if I cared for
them, I’d still be there anyways. So, in that sense, if
someone thought they lost me, I’m not gone forever. I
don’t think you can lose something like that forever. I
think if the passion is there, it will never go away. I guess
there’s not many people like that, though.
Well, whoever has you is lucky.
Then, I guess you’re lucky. We were never together, we may
not be now, we may not ever see each other, we may not
talk very often, but I’ll never be gone forever. If you didn’t
talk to me for years, I’d still be here when you decided to.
That’s just how I am, whether the situation was a relationship,
friendship, or whatever you would call what you and I were.
I don’t have passion for a whole lot of things, especially when
it comes to people, but when I do, its endless. Idk, that’s my
two cents.
Well, I don’t want you waiting around for me, or even
have me in the back of your mind. I’m not the kind of
guy you would want to be with. You are too good for
me, I mean it.
I’m not saying that I’m waiting to be with you, —-. I
just mean in general, I’m still here for you and still care
about you. Its not something I could ever throw away. I
don’t think I’m too good for anything or anyone.
I know what you’re saying, —-. I’m just sick of liking
someone and them liking me back, but for some reason,
they can’t take the next step. I don’t know what is wrong
with me. Is there something I do, or say? I don’t fucking
get it. All I want is to have a family and not be alone any-
more. I’m a good guy and I want to settle down and not
play any games. Girls just don’t want that these days.
I wanted that.
I know. That’s why I think I’m an idiot. I’m never able
to realize what I have until after I fuck it up.
No one said you fucked up. If you fucked up, I wouldn’t
be talking to you. But Goddamnit —-, I can’t not have
you in my heart still.
You’re sweet.
Do I get to see you the next time you come home?
Yes.
Promise?
Yes.
Say you promise.
I promise.
You know how I am with promises.
I know. No worries.
I trust you.
Correlation Friday, Sep 5 2008
Story Time Crank, Crash, Drugs, Ellen Hopkins, Eyes, Glass, Headache, Insomnia, Life, Love, Monster 12:53 am
You
fly
until
you
crash.
Two
days,
two
nights,
no
sleep,
no
food.
Come
down
off
the
monster.
YOU
CRASH
REAL
HARD.
You Look Like Poverty Tuesday, Sep 2 2008
Life. Love. Kari. Happiness, Idaho, Life, Love, Military, Navy, Poverty, Tears, Virginia 11:32 am
It was unusual hearing his voice again.
I didn’t forget how it sounded, but I fo-
rgot how good it makes me feel, even i-
f I had to hear it through his tears, it w-
as more than nice, more than missed, a-
nd more than a complication for things.
Twenty-five hundred miles later.
